


The Intimacy Inspiration Initiative

by danakate



Category: Big Bang Theory
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-03-27
Updated: 2010-03-27
Packaged: 2017-10-08 09:00:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/74889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danakate/pseuds/danakate
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sheldon gets stuck again and the solution leads to some surprising events.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He gets stuck again in the middle of March.

As Sheldon explains what it is he's working on, Penny tries to listen, but she only gets about a quarter of the content--a marked improvement from when they first met--so it gets more difficult to really pay attention. She files away a few key words in her mental list of "Things Sheldon is Really Passionate About That No One Else Understands" to look up on Wikipedia later and tunes him out as he keeps going.

She thinks, instead, of high school. More specifically, high school English class, when they read _Julius Caesar_ in turns, out loud. She remembers Denny Worthington, the class clown, melodramatically proclaiming, "**_Beware the Ides of March!_**"

Beware indeed.

The guys are understandably wary. They've been through this more times than she has, but she's a quick learner. This time, she remembers to watch where she's stepping. She doesn't need a broken hip to add to her ever-growing list of woes.

After 37 hours of Sheldon being even more insufferable than usual--which is really a feat, if you think about it--Leonard gives up.

Penny is leaving for work just as Leonard lugs a suitcase out of his apartment. There's an awkward moment when they see each other. Their breakup is still a little fresh and she knows he's still hurting, still looking longingly after her when they pass each other. She smiles uncertainly, points at his suitcase.

"Going on a trip?"

Leonard grimaces. "Not exactly," he says, pushing his glasses up. "Sheldon's being impossible."

Penny gives him a look.

"More impossible than normal, for him," he clarifies. "He's not sleeping, which means I'm barely sleeping, and I have a pretty intensive and important set of experiments to run at work in a couple days."

"Oh." She tries not to read into the forlorn look on Leonard's face as he looks at his shoes, tries not to think he's also leaving to take a break from seeing her all the time. "Where will you go?"

"Raj's."

She nods and there's another awkward silence.

"Hey, Penny," Leonard starts. "Would you..."

"What's up?" she asks, when he stops, a little part of her cringing at the idea he might be asking her out again.

"Would you, you know, look in on him a couple times? Just to make sure he's still...alive?" he manages.

Penny hesitates and berates herself for being so self-centered. Not everything is about her.

"Of course," she finally says. "I'll just poke my head in now, see if he needs anything."

"Thanks, Penny." And then he's off. She's kind of glad she has a reason not to make the trek downstairs with him.

She takes a moment and actually knocks before opening the door. Penny never knows exactly what she's in for when she enters their apartment and with Sheldon in the mood he was in she doesn't want to take her chances too much.

She needn't have worried. She's pretty sure Sheldon didn't hear her knock. Cautiously, Penny steps inside and waits for him to notice her.

A full minute passes and he's still silent, standing in front of his whiteboard.

"Sheldon?"

He whirls around, surprising Penny with his sudden movement. They stare at each other and the semi-vacant look in his eyes tells her he's not really seeing her. Most of his thoughts are still with the whiteboard. She waits for her presence to really register.

"What?"

Penny suppresses the urge to get annoyed at his tone. This is just the way Sheldon is when he's stuck on a problem.

"I'm about to go to work, do you need anything?"

"Nothing you can offer," he replies shortly before turning back to his work.

Penny makes a face at his back. "Okay, well, call if you need anything."

She waits a beat longer, not really expecting a reply but still a little annoyed when he doesn't acknowledge her departure. She rolls her eyes and heads to work.

=====

It's a half hour until her shift is over when she realizes the guys haven't come in for dinner. It's Tuesday, they always come in on Tuesdays. Then she remembers Sheldon's the only one who really enforces that routine and with Sheldon being in ultimate Sheldon-mode, the guys probably took the opportunity to do something different.

But it also probably means Sheldon hasn't eaten. As she's picking up a check, she idly wonders if Sheldon has eaten at all since he got stuck.

"What are you so worried about, Penny?" she scolds herself. "He's a grown man, he can take care of himself."

Except when he can't.

Like now.

Blowing out a breath of frustration, she orders his barbecue burger to go with her own dinner and winds down her shift, grumbling about the pittance that is her tips.

The drive home takes longer than normal and by the time she's dragged herself up four flights of stairs, Penny's in half a mind to ditch Sheldon's dinner and just go to bed. She's halfway across the landing before her conscience gets the better of her. It would be a waste of food, she tells herself.

She doesn't bother knocking this time, but peers around the door carefully just in case. She doesn't know what she is expecting but what she gets isn't it.

Somehow, Sheldon's whiteboard collection has grown as if they'd reproduced on their own. The bookcase and the landing behind the couch are nowhere to be seen, blocked by a solid wall of whiteboard. And, as far as Penny can tell, just about every available space on said whiteboards is covered in Sheldon's impeccable writing.

The man himself is kneeling in his spot, facing the whiteboards, body half flung over the back of the couch, head lolling to the side.

"Sheldon, honey, are you okay?" she asks, stepping carefully into the apartment, shutting the door behind her.

"What are you doing?" she tries again when he doesn't answer.

"Trying to get a new perspective on this equation," he says, turning his head to look at her. She expects annoyance at her interruption, but instead she thinks he just looks tired.

"Well, take a break."

"Penny, I'm working on something very important, I can't take a break."

"You need to eat. Your body needs the energy and your brain needs the break."

"Penny--"

She holds up a hand. "Remember the last time this happened? You needed something mundane to break you out of it."

Begrudgingly, he grunts and nods, turning around to sit properly in his spot. "But it's Tuesday and Tuesday is Hamburger Day and if you're back from work that means it must be past nominal dinner time. Besides, even if I were to collect the others and go to The Cheesecake Factory, you wouldn't be there to serve us and that would be unsatisfactory. Who else there would I trust with the proper handling of my food?"

She smirks at his ramble and holds out a takeout bag.

Sheldon's eyes flick from the bag to her eyes and back.

Penny rolls her eyes and walks in, depositing the bag on the coffee table. "I brought your usual, Sheldon."

"Is the--"

"Yes," she cuts him off before he can start questioning the integrity of his dinner specifications. "Just eat it."

He gives her a look but pulls out the carryout container and opens it. Penny swears she only blinks a few times and the entire meal is somehow gone. Sheldon's neatly collecting his empty containers and placing them in the trash before she can even sit down and open her dinner.

"Thank you for bringing me my burger, Penny," Sheldon says and looks at her expectantly.

"You're welcome, sweetie."

And then he turns around again, staring at his whiteboards. Penny watches him for a moment before digging into her salad. She's surprised he ate so quickly, even more surprised that he thanked her, but what really gets her is the fact that he didn't complain one bit about the potential hazards of having meat that had cooled from an appropriately hot temperature while she drove home. Startled, she shakes her head quickly to banish the thought and wonders where it even came from. Clearly, Sheldon is catching.

=====

Sheldon is still stuck the next evening and Penny really starts to worry.

"Are you sure there's nothing we can do?" she asks Leonard.

"Look, Penny, I know you're concerned," he says, voice sounding far away on the phone, "but this is just something he has to work his way through."

"Leonard, he hasn't slept in over three days, that can't be good for anyone."

She hears him sigh. "It's...rare he gets this stuck but trust me, nothing short of him solving the problem is going to get him to stop."

"What's the longest he's gone?"

"..."

"Leonard."

"Three days."

"And after?"

"He slept for nearly a full day, but he was fine."

Penny bites her lip in frustration.

"Just...thanks for looking in on him, Penny."

"Yeah," she says as goodbye and hangs up.

Tossing the phone on her couch, Penny flops back and stares at the ceiling. She knows Leonard is right but she can't help feeling a little miffed on Sheldon's behalf. Leonard is his best friend but he'd just abandoned him and, as far as she could tell, hasn't tried to help or look in on Sheldon himself or just be there.

Sighing, Penny grabs her keys and heads out to pick up the Wednesday night takeout.

Sheldon is standing on his head when she walks into the apartment with the food. Penny stops short, gaping, and wonders if he's finally flipped.

"Sheldon, what?"

"I'm making the blood rush to my head."

"_Why?_"

"When I right myself, the resulting disorientation will hopefully aid my cognitive functions in obtaining a different perspective on the equations."

She continues to stare and then shakes her head, not bothering to comment. Instead, she starts unpacking the food on the coffee table and waits him out.

It doesn't take long and Sheldon slowly turns himself upright, practically hugging the refrigerator as the "resulting disorientation" kicks in.

"Well?" she asks, popping the top off her order.

"Drat," Sheldon breathes. "I hadn't taken into account the shift in equilibrium."

Penny puzzles that out for a moment. "You're dizzy?"

"Yes," he manages, still gripping the refrigerator. "But, worse than that, I am still no closer to a solution than I was before I decided to try this technique."

"Imagine that," she murmurs before starting in on her meal. "Come here. Eat."

She can tell he wants to argue and she pins him with a stare. He fidgets but acquiesces. Again, the food disappears in an unnaturally short period of time and Penny wonders if there's somehow a small black hole in Sheldon's mouth. She nearly chokes on her food at the mental image.

"Penny, I hope you're not planning on requiring medical aid. I simply don't have the time to deal with emergency personnel or take you to the hospital."

She clears her throat and smirks at him. "Wouldn't dream of it, moonpie."

Sheldon just looks at her and her smile falters a little at the dark circles under his eyes. There's a weariness she can practically feel coming off of him and she wonders how he's even upright. It's as if his body is running on the power of his brain alone.

He returns to his whiteboard pondering and she finishes her dinner in silence. She's not really paying attention to him, which doesn't really matter in this case. But she is thinking about him.

=====

Penny spends Thursday on Sheldon's couch, ostensibly reading a magazine but surreptitiously watching him. She entertains the thought of drugging him or perhaps hitting him over the head with her baseball bat just so he'd get some rest.

But instead, she watches and she notices the little things.

His shoulders droop more than normal, his head is a little less high. Even his face seems softer, as if he can't muster the energy to maintain his normally impassive and controlled features.

Occasionally, his fingers drum on whatever surface he's near. At first, she thinks it's random, but then his fingers move in a definite pattern and she realizes he's miming scales on a piano keyboard. They flutter off into some piece only he can hear and she gets caught up watching the strength and elegance of his long fingers as they play their silent music. She wonders if she can get him to play for her sometime--the drunken ditties he played in the Cheescake Factory forever ago don't count, she wants something more fitting for the elegance, something classical and poignant.

He has a minor breakthrough in the early afternoon and Penny gets so caught up in his excitement she doesn't mind when he all but shouts an order to her to go out and buy him ten more whiteboards (of his particular specification, of course).

He's through the third whiteboard when he falters and is inexplicably stuck once more. Penny practically melts into a puddle of frustration on the floor. Watching him work is exhausting. She can only imagine how much harder it is for him.

She starts to see cracks when she gets him to eat dinner. Penny's amazed it hadn't started sooner. As he's eating, he can't stop his left knee from bouncing. He starts repeating himself as she makes idle chit chat while they eat. She punches him lightly in the arm without realizing it, as if he was a record player with a skip that needed a nudge to get by to the next part. He doesn't even bat an eye, doesn't chastise her for touching him.

And his voice. His voice is quiet and low and he sounds like Texas. She doesn't notice how much she likes it until he stops talking, gets up, and stares at his whiteboards again. She's surprised to find her toes curled.

Penny drifts off just after midnight. She's vaguely aware of him flitting around the room as if he was some sort of physics hummingbird.

She wakes early, sunlight barely filtering into the room. At first she isn't sure why she's awake and then she realizes she can't hear Sheldon moving around. In fact, she can't hear anything at all. She sits up on the couch and she realizes two things.

One: she fell asleep in Sheldon's spot and lived to tell.

Two: she's covered by a blanket.

There wasn't a blanket on the couch when she fell asleep. Snuggling deeper, she takes a deep breath and Penny is somehow both surprised yet not that it smells like Sheldon. She looks around and finds him standing in front of a whiteboard between the kitchen and the hallway to the bedrooms.

"Sheldon?"

There's no reply, no indication that he's heard her. Penny stands and sheds the blanket, shivering slightly as the apartment's cool air hits her warm skin. She pads over and peers up into his face.

"Sheldon?" she asks again, worry creeping into her voice.

He's just standing there, not moving, barely breathing. She has to watch his chest for the slightest movement to tell that he actually is breathing. His face is completely blank and his eyes are staring straight ahead, unblinking.

"Sheldon? Sweetie? You're starting to scare me."

And she realizes she _is_ scared. Scared that he's driven himself so far into his mind that she'll never see him again. Scared that there was something she could have done but she just wasn't smart enough to figure it out.

Unconsciously, she reaches out and grasps his arm. She can feel the warmth of his skin under the sleeve of his long sleeved undershirt and she relaxes slightly. But he doesn't respond, still doesn't react.

Her eyes trace the features of his face and she can see the fatigue written there in big bold letters. The circles under his eyes are so dark it looks as though he has two black eyes. His normally perfectly placed hair is ruffled a little from where he's run his fingers through it. She reaches up and gently smooths out the ruffles.

When he still doesn't respond, Penny feels an overwhelming urge to cry.

"Oh, honey," she whispers and her fingers fall to his cheek.

His skin is amazingly soft and she gently strokes his face, startled at the feel of stubble. Sheldon unkempt isn't something she's used to and she isn't sure she wants to get used to it.

The corners of his mouth are angled slightly down and Penny frowns to match it. She watches him, her arms framing his face. From here, she can feel his breath but feels no comfort that he's still a living, breathing human.

Because there's more to Sheldon than just those biological behaviors.

Because she wants Sheldon back to yell at her and annoy her and just be him.

Slowly, she steps up on her tip toes and places a tiny kiss at the corner of his mouth. She lingers for a long moment and pulls away with a sigh when there continues to be no response.

But as she's looking at him, her frown deepening, he does respond. He blinks.

Penny takes in a quick breath and waits. Nothing. She frowns again and waits some more. Still nothing. So she stands on tip toe once more and this time, she kisses the other corner of his mouth.

This time, he definitely responds, a breath coming out of him loudly as his eyes blink again, slowly, as if from some deep slumber.

"Come on, Sheldon," she urges. "Snap out of it!"

But all he does is stand there and sure he blinks a little more and breathes a little more regularly but he's still not there. Penny laughs to herself a little. She'd wanted him to do all the things that annoyed her and here he is, annoying her by doing nothing.

She waits a little longer before placing her hands on his shoulders and pulling herself up onto her toes once more and gently, but firmly, pressing her lips to his.

It takes a few seconds, but she feels him respond. Or, rather, not. She didn't think it was possible to be any less moving than unmoving, but somehow, Sheldon goes utterly still.

Suddenly, she feels his hands on her hips and he is pushing her. Her back hits the side of the refrigerator with more force than she anticipates, the breath coming out of her, breaking the kiss. Penny hears the cereal boxes rattle and sees Sheldon reach up to steady them before they fall.

And then their eyes meet. He is completely alert, completely there, and Penny wants to shout for joy.

But then Sheldon steps back, breaking the hold she has on him and she stops, arms reached out.

His eyes are flicking about wildly, not settling on anything for more than a fraction of a second and Penny thinks for a moment that she might have broken him. And then his expression changes and she's sure he's going to bolt for the bathroom to wash his mouth.

Instead, Sheldon pivots on his heel and grabs the closest dry erase marker and starts furiously scribbling on the whiteboard he'd been staring at earlier.

Penny almost feels offended that she's been ditched for physics when she notices Sheldon is smiling. He's actually, genuinely smiling.

He stands up straight abruptly, slapping the cap of the marker down loudly, and looks at her with a broad grin on his face.

"I did it!" he says. "I figured it out!"

And then he closes his eyes and he starts to fall and Penny barely makes it to his side before he hits the floor. He's heavier than he looks and Penny sags under his weight, settling for a slow fall. They end up in a heap, his head in her lap, fast asleep.

"Sheldon?" She prods at his shoulder, not really wanting to wake him up. But he's out cold.

Penny manages to extricate herself, arranging him as comfortably as she can before sitting by his side. She stares down at the passed out, exhausted physicist and shakes her head in wonder.

"Sheldon, Sheldon, Sheldon," she murmurs, smoothing out his hair once more. "What am I going to do with you?"

Penny frowns as the words come out. What was she going to do with him?

She studies his features as she mulls the question. He looks at peace, a small smile playing on his lips. Her hand traces the side of his face again and she runs her thumb across his bottom lip lightly. Carefully, though she knows she won't wake him, she leans over and places a kiss on his forehead.

She will deal with Sheldon later, when he's awake.

If he remembers.

"God, I hope he remembers."

The thought comes unbidden and she stuffs it aside before getting up and covering Sheldon with the blanket she'd used earlier. There is no way she is going to be able to move him so she settles for making him as comfortable as she can. She gets a pillow from the couch to put under his head and then she doesn't know what to do with herself.

Penny watches him for a few more minutes before she grabs her phone and texts the guys.

_Sheldon's finally unstuck._

She quietly lets herself out of the apartment.


	2. Chapter 2

Sheldon sleeps for a day and a half. Midway through, the guys are able to rouse him long enough for him to stumble into his bed and pass out again. Penny is a little appalled they didn't feed him and glares them into feeling guilty while they feebly make excuses.

When Sheldon finally does get up, he breaks protocol not only to eat breakfast at 2 o'clock in the afternoon, but to go through two nearly full boxes of cereal (one each from the high and low end of the fiber-content lineup).

He's sitting at his desk, furiously typing away on his laptop, when she walks in Saturday evening.

"Sheldon! You're awake!"

"Indeed," he replies, not looking at her.

The smile she had on when she walked in the door slips a little, not that he notices since he's not looking at her.

"What are you up to?"

"Writing up my findings from the past several days."

Silence falls between them and Penny almost leaves, but then Sheldon finishes typing with a flourish and turns to her.

"Penny, I feel I must express my gratitude for your assistance yesterday."

Her eyes widen. "You mean....when I..."

He nods. "Yes, when you broke my fall, avoiding the possibility of a severe head injury--after such an important breakthrough, too. What a loss to science that would have been!"

Penny grimaces and nods absently as Sheldon, now back to his regular behavior, rambles on for several long sentences. Belatedly, she realizes he asked her a question.

"What?"

Sheldon sighs and she flinches. She knows he doesn't like to repeat himself.

"Will you be joining us for dinner?"

"Oh, um, no, not tonight. I'm...going out to meet some girl friends," she lies.

"Very well," Sheldon replies, turning back to his laptop.

She makes her way to the door and looks back at him for a moment before quietly leaving him to work. Penny trudges the short distance back to her apartment and flops on her couch.

She should be happy, she tells herself. Sheldon is back to normal. It's what she'd wanted, right?

Right.

Except...not.

He clearly doesn't remember what happened between them and she clearly does. A lot. In fact, if she tries any harder to forget kissing him, she'll probably give herself an aneurysm.

And, like all previous attempts to forget, the thoughts and sensations flood her mind. She remembers his warmth. She remembers how surprised she was at the softness of his lips. But mostly she remembers all the ways things _didn't_ progress after he pushed her into the refrigerator.

"Get a hold of yourself, girl!" she admonishes herself, slapping the couch cushion in frustration.

This is Sheldon. _Sheldon_. Sheldon Lee Cooper, Ph.D., the highly evolved super genius physicist who annoys her on a daily basis, points out her flaws with no regard to her feelings, and is beyond the need (or want) for human interaction.

Penny tries to convince herself she's only fixating on the man because she needs to get some, but the thought of going out to find some random guy repulses her so much she actually feels nauseated. So, instead, she stays on the couch, flips the TV to some sappy chick flick, and feels sorry for herself. She's allowed to wallow in self pity sometimes, right?

=====

Things remain relatively normal for a few weeks.

Sheldon sticks to his routines. Leonard takes joy in the fact that he's living at home again. Howard and Raj visit like they used to.

But Penny is decidedly not back to normal. She seems to be floundering, to be in her own version of "stuck", but she has no equations on whiteboards to help her through it all. It's as if witnessing Sheldon, the smartest person she knows, get so stuck he nearly lost himself made something in her own mind click and assess itself. She just wishes her brain would clue her in as to what is going on, because she can't really put her finger on it and she doesn't know what to do.

She's sitting on her washer one laundry night when Sheldon walks in, right on schedule.

"Penny."

"Hey, Sheldon," she says absently, bare feet kicking a little on the side of the machine.

They say nothing to each other as he puts his laundry into the remaining machines.

"Are you well?" he asks abruptly.

"What?" she asks. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"You've missed the last two Halo nights. Your previous frequency of joining us for dinner was approximately 77.3% and has now dropped below 30%. And the number of, shall we say, your nighttime visitors has dropped to zero."

Penny blinks as the list comes flying out of his mouth. "Have you been watching me?"

Sheldon frowns slightly. "I'm merely commenting on the break in your normal patterns."

She sighs. "Sorry, Sheldon, I just haven't been feeling very...social, of late."

He nods enthusiastically, clasping his hands behind his back. "I, too, sometimes find the excessive exposure to social situations overwhelming, which is why I avoid the kinds of social outings in which you normally participate."

She nods absently, wonders if he's subtly indicating he'd prefer to be alone in the laundry room.

Sheldon fidgets a little and Penny looks at him quizzically. "What?"

"While I am by no means an expert at interpreting body language, I am compelled to ask again: are you well?"

She just stares at him.

"You appear to be exhibiting the signs of someone who is feeling 'down'."

Ah. She must really be in a mood if Sheldon can pick up on it.

"It's okay, sweetie. I don't really want to talk about it."

"All right," he says, turning away.

"It's just that my life hasn't really been going the way I thought it would and I've been thinking about it more, lately."

Sheldon turns back to her, a perplexed look on his face. "I was given to believe you didn't want to talk about it."

She shrugs. "Sometimes we don't really know what we want."

He seems to go through some mental struggle and then stiffly leans against an adjacent washer. "You may continue, if you wish."

She's torn between gratitude and guilt. She knows he hates this kind of thing but she also knows he won't coddle her or give her false comfort. Annoying and blunt as he can be, Sheldon at least always tells her the honest truth, and while she might not always want to hear it, she's usually grateful he does in the long run.

"It's just the normal stuff," she says. "Waitressing sucks. Auditioning sucks. I can't even get the smallest, tiniest parts. It's like I'm running in place, treading water, whatever. I'm stuck."

He's quiet and she's relatively sure he's not going to reply when he finally does speak.

"Would it help if I...returned the favor?"

She looks at him blankly. He couldn't mean...

Sheldon squirms under her gaze.

"What do you mean by 'favor'?"

"Why, a kiss, of course."

Penny nearly falls off her washing machine.

"What?!"

And her heart is in her throat because she's pretty sure she knows what this means. It means he remembers.

He looks away shyly and Penny just wants to gather him in her arms and hold him tight.

"I...admit that your actions several weeks ago were the impetus for my breakthrough at the time, despite the violation of my personal space."

She's gaping and staring and speechless. Sheldon fidgets.

"You mean...when I kissed you?"

"Of course." He's still not looking at her.

"I didn't think you remembered."

His eyes snap to hers. "Penny, I remember everything."

She nods absently, still trying to work out why he would even offer. "I thought for sure you would've given me a strike for invading your personal space."

"Under normal circumstances, that would have been the case."

"But that wasn't a normal circumstance?"

"Far from it," Sheldon explained. "In fact, as my mind was attempting to work through the finer points of the equations in my latest research, I'd inadvertently fallen into a sort of infinite loop. Your actions helped break me out of that loop."

"They did? How?"

He looks at her. "My mind went blank."

She blinks. And then she giggles. He frowns.

"I'm sorry, Sheldon. I'm not laughing _at_ you. It's just...that's such a normal response."

He looks almost pouty and she struggles to find the right words. "I mean that in a good way."

"I don't see how," he grumbles.

She reaches out to put a hand on his arm but backs off at the last second. "Um, about your question. I'm...grateful for the offer, but you don't have to do that."

"I don't?" He looks genuinely puzzled.

"No," she says. "You don't. Although, I wouldn't mind a hug, but really, it's okay. I don't want you to do something you don't want to do."

"Penny, you will know far better than I," Sheldon starts. "But in these...comfort situations...I believe the idea is that the situation is about what you want, not what I want."

She stares at him once more and wonders where all this insight is coming from. She opens her mouth to form a sarcastic reply but his features are so earnest and she realizes that he's trying, really _trying_ to be nice to her for her own benefit.

"It's up to you," she finally says.

He says nothing and she can tell he's thinking. She imagines a whiteboard behind his eyes and wonders what exactly he's trying to work out. He's quiet for so long she starts to feel uncomfortable staring at him so she drops her gaze to her lap and her heels continue tapping against the washer.

And then Sheldon's moving towards her and she's surprised when his hand comes up to lift her chin. When his lips touch hers, it's her turn for her mind to go blank and then all she thinks about is him.

His lips are soft and warm, just like she remembers. She kisses him back, just a little, and her heart soars when she feels him respond. She doesn't know how long they stay that way, gently kissing, but they're both a little startled when the washing machine loudly kicks into spin cycle and they move apart.

Their eyes are wide as they stare at each other. They are closer than they were before and Sheldon's hands are on either side of her legs on the washer.

"Thank you," she breathes, immediately feeling dumb.

"Did it work?" he asks. She's irrationally happy that his voice has a slight quiver to it.

"I don't know," she admits. "But I definitely feel better."

And confused. Oh, so confused. But she doesn't tell him that. Because now she thinks she knows what he was thinking earlier.

It goes something like this (but way more complicated, since it's Sheldon): given the choice between a hug and a kiss, and given the effect her kiss has on him, Sheldon can only reciprocate with a kiss of his own not only to come up with an equivalent response but also to have any hope of an equal effect on her. He is, after all, excessively concerned with equivalent reciprocity. Or something. She doesn't know where germs play into this, but it doesn't seem to be part of the equation. Or, at least, it's a negligible factor.

And she's okay with that.

At least, for the moment.

Maybe.

But they're not ready for anything more. Sheldon certainly isn't and she isn't exactly sure she is, either.

Penny's washing machine dings when it completes its cycle and Sheldon moves aside. They're still staring at each other as she hops to the ground, but then she's the one to break away first and she turns to move her laundry to the dryer.

"Um, Sheldon?"

"Yes, Penny." He's studiously reading the only sign in the laundry room. It has less than 10 words on it but he's staring it down as if it's an important dissertation that requires his full attention.

"Could you keep an eye on my laundry for a little bit? I need to run upstairs and do...something in my apartment."

She expects a lecture about the perils of leaving her laundry unattended, but instead he just replies: "Yes, Penny."

"Thanks."

And then she's fleeing from the room, her heart racing with more than just the exertion of running up all the stairs to her apartment.

She doesn't know what's going on. She's trying to figure out what the hell just happened and she's trying desperately not to read too much into it.

After she calms down, she starts to rationalize.

Sheldon doesn't do spontaneous and he's traditionally somewhat thick when it comes to thoughtful behaviors, especially if it requires physical contact. She convinces herself the only reason he offered anything was because she helped him out of a tough spot.

Penny takes a few deep breaths and splashes cold water on her face.

When she goes back down to the laundry room, Sheldon's folding his clothes. He's already folded hers and she thanks him as she grabs her basket and heads back to her place. There's only the tiniest bit of awkwardness but they're looking each other in the eyes again and she thinks to herself that she was right, it was just something he did to fulfill whatever weird reciprocation thing he had. By the time she reaches her apartment, she almost believes it.

Except it keeps happening.


	3. Chapter 3

He's working on a new problem on his laptop when Penny bursts into the apartment.

"Hi, guys!" she practically screams.

"Penny," Sheldon admonishes. "Must you always ignore the basic rules of courtesy and barge in unannounced like that?"

She gives him a look he can't interpret and continues, ignoring his inquiry. "I have some great news!"

Leonard looks up from the periodical he's reading. "News?"

Sheldon observes that the tension in Leonard's voice has reduced to normal levels; it seems he has finally come to terms with the cessation of his ill-advised relationship with Penny. For that, Sheldon is glad. He didn't know how much longer he could put up with Leonard's juvenile behavior and poor music choices, much less his constant cooing over cute kittens on the Internet and the ever-growing collection of cat toys he keeps finding between the couch cushions.

"I got a part in a TV show!" She's literally jumping up and down at this point and Sheldon fears for the collectibles on the bookcase that are rattling with the vigor of Penny's actions.

"That's great!" Leonard replies, standing and grinning, sharing in Penny's enthusiasm. "What kind of part?"

"Oh, it's just a bit part in a single episode of NCIS--holy crap Mark Harmon is _hot_\--but it's a speaking part! I'll be a bartender in a drag club!"

"Okay," Leonard ponders for a moment. "So does that mean you'll be a gu--you know what? We should go out and celebrate!"

"Great idea. Let's get Howard and Raj and go out to eat," Penny suggests, still smiling like a madwoman.

"Sure, I'll give them a call," Leonard says, patting at his pockets. "Huh, must have left my phone in my room. Be right back."

The moment Leonard leaves the room, Sheldon can feel her eyes on the back of his head. He turns to face her fully and she's still beaming, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. Idly, Sheldon notes that he much prefers this Penny to the Penny from a couple weeks ago when she exhibited signs of prolonged melancholy.

"You know, Sheldon, this is all because of you," she says.

And then she's moving very rapidly towards him and he stands up abruptly, ready to protect himself. She seems to catch herself at the last moment and stops suddenly, her body swaying forward slightly at her shift in momentum. Penny's hands are outstretched and just the tips of a few fingers touch the forearm he holds in front of his abdomen.

"I can hardly see how I was the cause of you getting a part in a television show, Penny," he says when he's relatively sure she's not going to run him over. He tries not to think of the slight warmth he feels on his skin from her fingertips.

And, amazingly, she smiles even brighter.

"You were my inspiration, sweetie!"

She's still grinning up at him and he catches himself wanting to smile for her, too.

"That night, a couple weeks ago, when you...kissed me," she says, calming down and staring at him with an intensity he doesn't understand, "it's like a switch turned on inside me and I was full of confidence again. I remembered why I came out here, why I was waitressing and auditioning. It's for moments like this, when the stars align and things are just _right_."

"Oh, I see," he remarks, finally seeing the parallel. "You're implying that by returning the favor you had done for me, you were broken out of your infinite loop."

She nods vigorously. "Yes! Thank you, Sheldon. I--"

He's startled when she suddenly hugs him. He has his arms full of Penny and he doesn't know what to do with himself. Sheldon tries not to be too rigid because he knows this is something Penny does and, he grudgingly admits, he's starting to get used to her blatant abuse of physical contact. Eventually, he relaxes just a tiny bit and he feels her sigh against him, almost making him tense up again.

"Sorry, sweetie. I know you don't like it when I hug you but I just can't help myself," Penny says as she pulls back a little and looks up at him.

"It...isn't entirely...unpleasant," he manages. "And I am happy for you, Penny. If I had some part, however small, in your getting the acting role, all the better. As I've mentioned before, Sheldon is here."

Penny smiles up at him again. He feels a slight tug of her arms and thinks she's pulling him in for another hug when he also notices she's leaning up. And then it's as if events are happening in slow motion (an impossibility, his mind chimes in, unless they were near a change in gravity, which they are not). She's angled to the side a little and in the back of his mind, Sheldon knows she's going to kiss his cheek. He doesn't exactly know how, or why, but somehow his neck turns just that tiny bit and her lips half fall on his.

They're both surprised at the contact, but neither of them move for a very long moment.

Penny suddenly steps back and raises her fingers to her lips, eyes wide in shock.

"Oh my god, sweetie, I'm sorry. I only meant to kiss your cheek. I...hope you're not mad?"

Sheldon says nothing, mouth slightly agape. Inside, his brain's synapses are firing on overdrive and he briefly wonders if this is what it feels like when one's brain is melting.

"Okay, Raj and Howard are going to meet us at the Chinese restaurant," Leonard announces as he walks back into the room. He stops when he notices Sheldon frozen in places. "What's wrong with Sheldon?"

"Oh, nothing," Penny says, giggling nervously. "Just, you know..."

Leonard looks on the verge of pressing the issue when Sheldon finally speaks.

"We can't have Chinese for dinner, we had Chinese last night."

Leonard rolls his eyes. "We're just using it as a meeting place. We can pick a place later...Penny can pick a place, since we're celebrating for her."

Leonard heads out, followed by Penny, and finally Sheldon. As they head down the stairs, Penny pauses for a moment, looking worriedly at Sheldon. Leonard is a few steps ahead of them and Sheldon catches up. As he reaches the step below Penny, he turns and murmurs to her.

"I'm not mad."

And if his lips accidentally graze her ear, he can't be held accountable. He'd measured. Some of the steps in the apartment building were 1mm off which, while not sufficient to cause tripping, was enough to induce imbalance.

 

=====

_Sheldon's Log  
Stardate 63721.3_

I find myself at a loss, something that happens rarely, if at all. I have, up until this point, determined that physical contact is unneeded for a few factors including, but not limited to:

1) Illness. The exposure to bacteria, viruses, and other unsavory micro-biological organisms is detrimental to my health and jeopardizes my ability to focus fully on my work.

2) Distraction. Having observed the level of distraction physical contact has on the rest of the human population, it is extremely obvious that physical contact would also jeopardize my ability to focus fully on my work.

I've lived with these two major tenets since I first entered university at the age of 11 with very few deviations. It comes as no surprise that most of the deviations have occurred since meeting Penny.

To that point, recent events have made me realize I must re-evaluate my stance on human physical interaction.

Five weeks ago, I became entrenched in a theoretical infinite loop while attempting to solve a particularly complex theorem involving monopoles. Penny's actions, which I'm led to believe were based in the realm of concern for my person, effectively pushed me out of the infinite loop and, somehow managed to give my mental processes the "jump", if you will, they needed to come to the correct conclusions. Her actions were to invade my personal space beyond sense or reason. She kissed me. Three times.

Normally, I would have balked at her blatant disregard for my feelings on the matter (not to mention issuing strikes), but I cannot dispute that her physical actions resulted in a positive influence on my work.

This is both interesting and troubling as it throws into question my earlier supposition that physical interaction is unnecessary.

Further data was added to this curious set of circumstances two weeks ago. At that time, I commenced Laundry Night as usual and found Penny there. She was, it seemed, "down" and when pressed, admitted that she was unsatisfied with the effects her life choices had caused.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention that it unsettled me to see Penny in a melancholy state. Her personality, while sometimes grating, has always been consistently, if not misguidedly, optimistic. She has, as the colloquialism goes, a "sunny disposition". That she would then be in such a melancholy state was unexpected and compelled me to offer assistance. After all, she was in the same state I was three weeks prior to that time, although a different set of circumstances obviously led to her infinite loop.

What compelled me to offer to return the favor she gave me (i.e. kiss her) still eludes me. But, at the time, it seemed the best course of action. If anything, reciprocating the action fulfilled my personal requirement for equivalence within our friendship paradigm. I'd also determined that the risk of infection was low as she had been in good health for some time, so compromising my immune system was not a large enough factor to negate the need for equivalent reciprocity.

I feel I should describe the particulars of the kiss, however I'm unfortunately unable to recall many details. While I do possess an eidetic memory, I seem not to be able to recall the complete details from when the kiss started to when it ended. It is most frustrating to not be able to recall the duration of the action.

I do, however, recall some small details. In the interest of scientific data gathering and completeness, I list them here:

1) Penny's lips are warm and soft. This, I recall from the kiss she gave me 5 weeks ago. Given the number of cosmetic products she possess specifically for the care of her lips, this observation is not too surprising.

2) Penny's skin is soft. Data on this particular matter is incomplete as I only grasped her chin with my hand briefly prior to executing the action. Again, like item 1, her cosmetic products surely contribute to this observation.

3) The "mind blanking" ability of the kiss is present regardless of who initiates the action. This was demonstrated both 5 weeks (Penny kissed me) and 2 weeks ago (I kissed Penny). The fact that I cannot recall the complete details of the event is further proof.

The result of that kiss, which came to full fruition tonight, was that Penny immediately felt "better" (her words), has been in a more joyful mood the past two weeks, and finally culminated in her acquiring a role in a network television show.

The interaction following Penny's announcement tonight is yet another data point in my re-evaluation of the need for physical contact. As is her tendency, Penny was unable to suppress her affectionate ways and hugged me. She did, at least, acknowledge that she comprehended my reluctance to do so. She then leaned up to kiss my cheek, but the execution of said action was modified by an unconscious need on my part to turn my head, which resulted in Penny's lips and mine meeting once more.

I put forth the proposition that it was not a kiss since only half of her lips met mine; however the action was similar enough and evoked a near identical reaction that pressing the issue would be moot.

The most interesting aspect of this third kiss is that there was no impetus for it. Neither Penny nor myself was in any sort of mental, emotional, physical, or other duress.

I have yet to gather enough data to determine if this kind of physical contact is a detriment to my work. In fact, all evidence points to the opposite, which is somewhat troubling and will merit further contemplation should the situation arise again.

As for my first point for avoiding physical contact, thus far I have evaded infection and I find I may need to re-evaluate that point as well. It is entirely possible that repeated exposure to Penny's micro-biological organisms may, in fact, help boost my immune system. I will have to keep closer track of my physical state should the situation arise again.

_End Log_

=====

They don't see Penny for almost a week.

She shows up on a Saturday night and Sheldon is home alone. The guys had decided to see a movie at a non-Sheldon approved theater. He doesn't actually want to see the movie, anyway. He's semi-occupied with an advanced theorem when he hears a thump on the front door.

He waits, hands hovering above his laptop keyboard, but nothing happens.

He's halfway through reading a research paper when he hears it again.

"Who is it?"

No answer.

Sighing, Sheldon bookmarks his open tabs and goes to the door. Another thump sounds just as he reaches the door, startling him. He looks through the peephole but is unable to ascertain who is on the other side. The view is slightly obscured by what looks to be blonde hair.

"Penny?"

She knocks three times, very softly. Sheldon twitches.

Carefully, he opens the door and she's braced herself against the door frame.

"Really, Penny," Sheldon admonishes. "If you wanted to gain entry, a standard knock would have sufficed. I'm surprised you even tried to make your presence known. Normally you invade our home without any hesitation."

"Mrrr..." is her only response.

She's moving past him and slowly leaning forward as if falling. Eventually, she face plants on the couch, snuggling into the striped pillow in Sheldon's spot.

Sheldon observes Penny's actions and purses his lips in thought.

"Given the change in your recent schedule and your immediate semi-conscious state, I can only assume you are returning from your acting job."

Penny grunts into the pillow, which he interprets as a noise of assent.

Sheldon quietly shuts the door and heads to the kitchen. Penny remains stretched out on the couch, seemingly oblivious to the world. He busies himself with the kettle and mug; there is a comfortable silence between them.

He approaches the couch and holds a steaming mug near Penny's face.

Slowly, she lifts her head. It takes so long for her to open her eyes that Sheldon finds himself counting her eyelashes. He makes it to 37 before her eyelids flutter and he loses his place.

"Whu-?" she sniffs at the mug.

"Chamomile tea. It will aid in relaxation."

With effort, she sits up and stretches loudly. Sheldon takes the opportunity to reclaim his spot while guiding the mug into her hands.

Penny wraps her fingers around the mug and takes a deep breath.

"Relaxation? I'm practically sprawled on the couch, Sheldon," she yawns, blowing across the top of the mug a few times before taking a sip.

"You're exhausted, not relaxed."

Penny shrugs. Sheldon notices the slight grimace on her face at the movement.

They sit in silence while Penny sips her tea. He watches her posture soften. After a few moments, Penny seems to realize she's lightly leaning on Sheldon and sits up.

"Sorry," she says, turning a little away from him so she can see him. She can't seem to find a position where their knees don't touch, so she just goes with it.

"Penny," Sheldon begins, "am I correct to presume your acting job is satisfying?"

She mulls the question, deciphering. "I'm enjoying it. It's a lot of waiting, but I don't mind. I mean, I got to stare at Mark Harmon's ass for a while, that can't be all bad, right?"

Thankfully, she seems to miss the small frown on Sheldon's face as she takes another sip.

"What about you?" she asks, putting the mug down on the coffee table. "What have you been up to this past week?"

She's leaning towards him now and the sleepy, relaxed expression on her features stirs something unknown inside him. Sheldon stands and starts to pace.

"Well, I've come upon an advanced theorem I believe may tie in nicely with my monopole research. I've been reading research papers in an attempt to--"

He cuts off as he spies her yawn.

"You don't really want to know."

"What? No, of course I..." she trails off at his dubious expression.

"Well, okay," she sighs. "I don't know what you're talking about, but...but Sheldon, you're really passionate about it and I _am_ interested, I'm just also really, really tired."

"I fail to see how you can be interested in something you have no desire to understand," he says. He doesn't know why he feels a little hurt that she finds him boring. It never bothered him before, with other people.

"But, I want to," she pleads. "This is your life. It's important to you. Every time I talk to you I learn something new. I don't realize it right away, but when I go back to my apartment, I look up some of the stuff you say and little by little, I learn. I'm not smart like you, Sheldon. No one is. It'll take time."

He stares at her and his lips twitch when she tries mightily, and fails, to stifle another yawn.

"I..." he's a little lost for words. "I...appreciate that."

Penny smiles at him tiredly.

"If you wish, you may take a nap. You look..." he gestures vaguely.

"Disgusting?" she supplies. "I feel disgusting."

"No, you could never be that."

Her eyes snap to his but he's looking to the side.

"I will rouse you in an hour. Then, perhaps, we can order dinner."

Penny nods and allows herself to fall over, stretching out once more.

She's asleep almost instantly and Sheldon abruptly realizes he's watching her. Shaking his head at himself, he turns off the room's lights and turns a lamp on in the far corner for minimal illumination. He sets an alarm on his watch and then turns back to his laptop, returning to the research paper he'd been reading when Penny interrupted.

An hour later, Sheldon's watch beeps. He smacks at the "off" button in annoyance and stares harder at the laptop screen. He is oblivious to everything else around him.

=====

On the couch, Penny stirs and her eyes blink open slowly. She unconsciously realizes the room is darker and she silently thanks Sheldon for being so thoughtful. Speaking of...

"Sheldon?" she calls out, voice scratchy.

She props herself up onto her elbows and looks towards his desk. He's hunched over his laptop, eyes so intense she's surprised he hasn't burned a hole through the screen. Penny observes his profile, then, and muses at the otherworldly look the laptop's glow has upon Sheldon's skin.

Penny's stomach growls a little and she gets up, stretching and yawning. Sheldon still hasn't acknowledged her.

Suddenly, his fingers are moving rapidly and then, just as abruptly, he's still again.

Penny approaches his desk slowly.

"This can't be right," he mutters to himself. "These results are almost completely opposite of the expected result."

"Sweetie?" she calls out.

She puts a hand on his shoulder, the touch making him jump which in turn makes her jump.

Again, Penny knows he's still wrapped up in whatever he's just been reading. She remembers this look from several weeks ago. Sheldon's eyes finally clear and she knows whatever internal register he has for thought processes has finally emptied. _Where the hell did that come from?_

"Oh. You're awake."

She nods. "You were pretty absorbed."

"Yes, well," Sheldon says.

He takes a deep breath and then he's off, spouting off everything that was on his mind before she touched him. She's trying desperately to keep up but all she can gather is that he's thinking himself in circles. He is, in fact, dangerously close to locking himself into another intellectual infinite loop.

"Sheldon."

"--and the French paper posited--"

"_Sheldon._"

"--meanwhile, physicists in Russia have determined--"

"SHELDON."

"Penny, I would request that you cease interrupting me while--"

She clamps her hand over his mouth.

"And you, my dear genius, need to cease _thinking_."

Sheldon glares at her over her hand so she lowers it, bracing herself for whatever tirade he has in store for her.

"Penny," he begins. "I fail to see how not thinking about the implications of these findings will help."

She waits a heartbeat before realizing the outburst was really that short.

"I didn't mean you shouldn't think about it," she starts, mentally trying to figure out if she has the right number of negatives in her sentence. "I meant you need to stop thinking so much. You're...over thinking it. You know, like how when you're writing a paper or something and you type the word 'the' so many times you start thinking you've misspelled it because you're staring at it too hard?"

Sheldon tilts his head to the side and then comments, "I don't see how that has any correlation to what I'm trying to accomplish here."

And then Penny's had enough. Because she knows if she lets him continue down this path he'll lock himself into his brain again and drive everyone up the _ever loving wall_ until he figures it out.

So, she does the only thing she knows that will work and hopes it still works.

She kisses him.

Hard.

And for a moment, Penny's victory dancing in her mind because she can tell that Sheldon has stopped thinking. She lets herself enjoy it and is just about to pull away when she realizes his brain is engaged again.

His breathing is way too regular. His lips are way too still.

So she ups the ante, puts her arms around his neck, and runs her tongue across his lower lip. Penny feels his intake of breath and when his lips part slightly, she takes advantage of it, caressing his tongue with hers.

Sheldon makes an odd, strangled noise but she knows his cognitive functions have been reduced to nothing. Penny feels his hands on her hips and soon she's not thinking, either.

The sound of keys in the door lock pushes them apart faster than if they were magnets of the same charge.

"Sheldon, we're ba--" Leonard starts as he walks in. "Oh, Penny. What are you doing here?"

"And why are the lights so low?" Howard adds with as much innuendo as he can.

Raj meeps in curiosity.

"Um, I, uh, came by after work," Penny stammers, nervously pushing hair behind an ear.

"And the lights?" Howard asks again, eyebrows waggling.

"I fell asleep on the couch," Penny says, calmer. "Sheldon must have turned them off."

"I did," Sheldon pipes in, studiously staring at his laptop screen.

"Uh huh," Leonard says, mouth open a little, a thoughtful look on his face. "So..."

"When I woke up," Penny remarks, a flash of an idea coming to her, "Sheldon was in a state of semi-stuck...ness?"

"Penny," Sheldon admonishes. "That is nowhere close to being an actual word."

"You're stuck?" Howard quickly asks, a horrified look spreading across his face.

"Almost," Penny supplies.

Raj tugs on Howard's arm and the two beat a hasty retreat.

"I'm just gonna..." Leonard trails off as he all but runs to his room.

"I don't see what all the fuss is about," Sheldon mutters, clicking away at this laptop. "I finally understand the full implications of these findings and can make much more progress on my research."

Penny stares at the back of his head for a long moment, but no other words are spoken. Her stomach growls again and she decides to go home. Her hand is on the doorknob when he speaks again.

"Thank you, Penny."

His voice is soft but it is sincere. He's still not looking at her.

Penny smiles anyway. "You're welcome, sweetie."

=====

_Sheldon's Log  
Stardate 63740.3_

I have acquired new data. I cannot say I'm entirely satisfied with the conclusions I can draw from this data, but I cannot refute the facts.

This evening, Penny returned from her most recent acting job and proceeded to pass out on the couch. When she woke, I was deeply involved with a set of research papers that seemed to contain circular, if not contradictory, findings. I tried explaining this conundrum to her and she claimed I was "thinking too much". I am not sure how that is possible, but she then proceeded to kiss me.

As previously noted, kisses to or from Penny have resulted in my cognitive functions ceasing. While at first alarming, I have found the experience to be an overall benefit. This time, since I knew I was in need of acquiring further data, I was able to engage my higher cognitive functions in an attempt to catalog new information.

My findings, however, did not stem much further from my previous gathered data as Penny unexpectedly advanced our physical relations by invading my mouth with her tongue. I believe the colloquial terminology is "French kissing", although the term does not actually come from France. (Note to self: research more into the history of "French kissing".)

The strict description of "French kissing" is something I have always found abhorrent and alarming. The sheer amount of germs contained in the human mouth is staggering. The negativity I associate with "French kissing" is further substantiated by an event that happened many years ago while studying abroad. I shudder to think of the situation, but I must do so now in order to record a valid comparison.

In this event, the slightly inebriated daughter of one of my professor's decided I was a candidate upon which she would "practice" kissing, despite telling her of my rejecting all human contact. She...ignored my personal principles. The experience was wholly unpleasant and I contracted influenza after the one and only time she was able to infiltrate my defenses. That exact situation solidified my belief that human physical relations would lead to illness and, thus, hinder my ability to work.

However, in comparison, Penny's kisses bear both similarities and vast differences. While Penny did ignore my views on personal space and physical contact, she did not invade them for her own benefit, but for mine.

Amazingly, I did not find the experience unpleasant at all. In fact, quite the opposite, a revelation I am hesitant to record, but I feel I must in the name of science. Penny's "intrusion" was gentle, not forced, and I find I have more data points to consider. Taste, for one. She was...sweet and a little spicy, if one can describe another's taste as such.

As for the risk of illness, I feel no negative effects after Penny's actions. I can only conclude that due to the constant contact I've had with her the past several years and the recent increase in our physical connection, my immune system is becoming tolerant of Penny's particular mirco-biological organisms. I will, of course, have to monitor my vitals as symptoms may not become apparent for several days.

I would like to note, however, that I did experience a brief change in body temperature (heightened) and my heart rate appeared to increase dramatically. Since those symptoms dissipated fairly quickly, I must conclude they were temporary and more physiological in nature--a physical response to the advanced technique Penny applied.

There is another, more troubling revelation I am hesitant to discuss and that is the effect Penny's kisses have on my work.

As stated in a previous log (Stardate 63721.3), the first time Penny kissed me resulted in my ability to discover the means of solving a highly complex theorem. Tonight's kiss had a similar effect in that I was able to see the correlations between the various papers (I am convinced part of the problem was in translation--I must brush up on my Russian).

Am I to believe that kissing Penny on a regular basis would result in my making significant breakthroughs in physics? The idea, had I not had any data to back it up, would seem preposterous. But I cannot deny that her actions are actually having a positive effect on my work. This troubles me greatly, for it makes me wonder if I could be much further along in my research had I discovered this years ago.

_End Log_

=====

_Sheldon's Log -- Addendum  
Stardate 63740.3_

After failing to fall asleep, I realized that I'd left out some observations in my previous log.

Mulling over the idea that I've been completely wrong in my assumption that physical contact is undesirable, and taking into account previous experiences, 've come to the conclusion that the one factor not in any of those other, negative experiences is Penny.

She is a highly aesthetically pleasing individual. And while that observation is purely subjective, I subscribe to it myself. I can only hypothesize that my finding Penny physically attractive is a factor upon which interacting with her has a different kind of effect on my experiences.

And, if I am to be perfectly honest, I find that I want to gather even more information regarding the recent experiences with Penny and not, necessarily, just for science.

Reading back on this addendum, I find myself concerned with what I have written. Perhaps it is due to the lateness of the hour.

_End Log_


	4. Chapter 4

Penny goes to audition after audition and gets something about every third try. Adding the job on NCIS is definitely giving her portfolio more recognition and studios who previously ignored her at least give her more than a passing glance these days. The roles are little things like a walk-on part in a pilot episode of a show that probably won't go anywhere or a background person smiling in a commercial for some product. Little, but they're something. It happens often enough that she's flexing her time more at The Cheesecake Factory, only called when someone is sick or has an emergency and even then she knows there are others who are willing to pick up the time. Penny feels triumphant the few times she has to turn down a shift due to a shoot.

Sheldon, too, has a string of little victories. He's on the verge of finding a connection between three seemingly unrelated theorems. If he succeeds, he can publish next month and push the line proving string theory just that little bit more forward. (Secretly, he's hoping to time the publication with the next set of grant proposals to maximize the experience of victory he'll have over Leslie Winkle. He's not banking on it. Scientific discovery can't be put on a schedule, after all.)

Things are relatively normal.

Except Sheldon finds himself sparing a few thought cycles every day to think about recent events with Penny. He's torn between strengthening his resolve against physical interaction (the fact that he's sparing thought cycles on the subject is worrisome enough) and attempting to do something about it (he can't ignore the positive effects he's experienced). He's caught in an antilogy.

One night, he's sitting at his laptop staring at a blank document. He's typed up a contract 11 times. He's deleted it 11 times. Sheldon finally gets it right on the 17th try, but he doesn't bother to save the document, he only prints it. He stares at the single sheet of paper in his hands, reading it over incessantly, even though he's memorized it. He's never been this unsure about anything. At the same time, he's absolutely sure about the contract's foundation.

Sheldon walks out of his apartment and across the landing, knocking on Penny's door in his peculiar way.

The apartment door opens and Sheldon is momentarily caught off guard by the brightness of Penny's smile.

"Hey, Sheldon!" she says with a grin.

He notes, idly, that she's been much happier since her acting luck had changed. He finds the transition acceptable.

"Good evening, Penny," he finally says. He forces his fingers to relax before he creases the paper in his hands.

"What's up?" she asks when it's clear he's not saying any more.

Sheldon fiddles with the paper for a few moments before finally just handing it to her.

Penny takes the single sheet and reads it. Her smile slips and she's openly gaping.

"You can't be serious."

=====

It's a contract. Penny has seen a few of Sheldon's contracts, even received a couple of her own, but this is the first time the contract is about something so...personal.

Sheldon has written a contract for kissing rights.

She looks at the words and then at the man who wrote them. She should be mad, but the fact that he actually looks a little nervous does something to her and she feels just a tiny bit sad.

"What's this about?"

Sheldon frowns. "I thought it was perfectly clear."

She rolls her eyes. "Why is this about?"

Sheldon's frown deepens. "That isn't a valid sentence, Penny."

She sighs and puts her hands on her hips. Her lips twitch when Sheldon grimaces as the paper crinkles in her hands.

"I know _what_ you're asking. I want to know _why_."

Penny watches as Sheldon shifts from foot to foot.

"I...am relatively certain the rights laid out in the contract would be beneficial," he manages, not quite looking at her.

"For?"

"For my work, of course."

And then Penny does get mad, just a little. Mostly it's Sheldon, for obvious reasons. But there's a tiny piece of her that's mad at herself for letting this situation get out of hand.

She closes her eyes and sighs deeply. She's grateful that Sheldon isn't speaking.

When Penny opens her eyes, she stares up at him, searching for something. She sees confusion and expectation in Sheldon's gaze, but she doesn't really find anything else. She could explain it to him, how it's inappropriate to contractually bind someone to intimate relations for the sake of his work, but she's pretty sure he still won't get it. She isn't sure she could find the right words to make him see, isn't sure he was ready to _want_ to see.

Penny shakes her head and steps back.

Sheldon cocks his head to the side in question.

"Wrong answer," she says, voice soft, and gently closes the door in his face.

She watches through the peephole as Sheldon raises his arm a half dozen times to knock on her door. Each time, she hopes he does and is glad he doesn't. When Sheldon finally retreats back to his apartment, she turns and leans on her door, staring at the contract.

Usually, Penny realizes she's made a mistake with a guy _after_ she's spent the night with him. This is the first time she's realized it before she even thinks about inviting him in for "coffee".

=====

Sheldon lies awake that night, thinking about the perplexing exchange he had with Penny. He isn't sure where he went wrong.

Sighing in frustration, he gets up and pulls on his robe. He won't be sleeping anytime soon.

He pads out to the kitchen, intent on warming a glass of milk, but finds himself sitting at his laptop instead. A few minutes with Google and he thinks he might have found an answer.

Sheldon sits back in his chair and stares at the ceiling for a moment. Once again, he's made too broad of an intuitive leap. He thought he'd been asking Penny to be an intellectual collaborator, contributing in a manner he thought was appropriate for her; that is, providing physical interaction. After all, Penny was the most experienced person he knew when it came to intimate relations.

It seems he'd miscalculated. Sheldon had made the assumption that all physical relations were created equal. But, based on the quick searches he'd done, kissing is different. Kissing is more complex, more intimate than coitus. Kissing is _emotional_.

He sits up abruptly and he suddenly realizes he's very lucky Penny hadn't punched him in the throat for that contract. He had, in effect, asked her for something deeply personal with no regard for her emotional well-being. He wonders if maybe it was pity he saw reflected in her eyes just before she shut her door.

=====

A few nights later, Penny finally has an evening off. She'd been shooting a couple commercials downtown and hadn't really had an opportunity to hang out with the guys. In retrospect, she thinks that was probably for the better.

Ever since the incident with the contract, Penny's been waffling between outrageously mad and overwhelmingly guilty. She probably would have reacted badly at the slightest provocation from Sheldon; something like punching him in the throat and then smothering him with kisses. If that didn't confuse the guy...

She waltzes into 4A.

"Hey, guys!" she bubbles.

Howard and Raj are on the couch and Leonard is in the arm chair.

"Oh, hey, Penny," Leonard greets. "Perfect timing. You can be our fourth!"

"Fourth?" she asks, and then she realizes what night it is. "Where's Sheldon? He doesn't miss Halo night..."

"He's still at the university," Howard chimes in. "Said he had a few more things to look into."

"And you left him there?" She's still a little annoyed at the way the guys treat Sheldon sometimes.

"He said he'd call," Leonard remarks. "Raj or I will go pick him up when he's done."

Penny shakes her head and makes her way out the door.

"Where are you going? We need a fourth," Howard protests.

"Sorry, guys. You'll have to find someone else. I'm going to go get Sheldon."

"Penny, he's fine," Leonard says, trying to put her at ease. "The worst that will happen is he'll end up staying the night. He has his emergency bag."

She bites her lip and looks at the guys in turn. They don't know what's been going on between her and Sheldon, don't know that she may have triggered an emotional response from the one person she knows that tries to reject all emotional responses. They don't know how it's affected him. _She_ doesn't know how it's affected him. She just knows it has.

"You're probably right," she says. "But I'm going to go check on him. Make sure he's not, you know, stuck."

The guys exchange looks but by the time they look back at the door, she's gone.

=====

Sheldon is perched on the edge of his desk when Penny gets to the university. His office door is open and she stands just inside, watching him.

He has his arms crossed and he's staring at a bank of 5 whiteboards. The scene is eerily similar to one she walked in on weeks ago. She audibly sighs in relief when Sheldon moves to correct an equation, frowns a little when he doesn't acknowledge her presence.

Penny opens her mouth to speak but stops when Sheldon turns to one side. She can see his profile perfectly now and she muses, not for the first time, that Sheldon is actually quite attractive. His features are sharp, but proportional. His eyes are an intense blue. She wonders, in the back of her mind, what it would be like to have those eyes study her as closely as he's studying the whiteboards.

And it's at that moment Penny realizes she could lose it all for this man. She's always been quick to fall in love, for better or for worse. She's not sure she's in love with Sheldon, but she knows she likes him (against her better judgment, sometimes). Sheldon is the most unlikely guy for her, but somehow, someway, he's wormed his way into her life and if she's not careful, Penny's pretty sure he'll break her heart without ever realizing it. It scares the crap out of her.

Sheldon suddenly turns, then, and his eyes meet hers, pinning her in place.

"Oh," he breathes. "Hello."

Penny smiles weakly, waving a hand. "Heya, Sheldon. I just...came to check on you."

He checks his watch and his eyebrows go up slightly. "Oh, I hadn't realized so much time had passed."

They stand in awkward silence for a long moment, just staring at each other. Somehow, they manage to start speaking at the same time.

"So..."

"Penny..."

She smiles again, this time more genuinely. "You first."

He nods, then fiddles with the marker in his hands. "I wanted to apologize for the other night."

"You do?" she asks. Sheldon rarely apologizes for anything.

"Yes," he says, stepping towards her. "I did not realize until later that I had miscalculated the perceived intent of my contract to you."

"You did?"

Sheldon nods again. "I...apologize for requesting that you participate in an emotional activity without proper regard for your feelings."

"Oh, um, thanks, I guess."

They're staring at each other again. Penny is the first to look away.

"So, are you ready to go home?"

"In just a moment," Sheldon replies. He turns back to the middle whiteboard. "There's one more iteration I'd like to get through before I retire for the night. It shouldn't take long..."

He's off and rambling again. Penny listens and watches for a few moments.

But there's something different. Something...off.

Sheldon's body language is all wrong and Penny is having a hard time figuring out why.

At first, she thinks he's being sneaky and manipulative, trying to trick her into thinking he's getting stuck and, thus, in need of her particular kind of assistance. She gets a little mad at that and crosses her arms, waiting him out.

But he keeps going and she realizes that, no, this isn't Sheldon trying to get his way. This is Sheldon in the process of thinking his way into an intellectual black hole. This is Sheldon not knowing when he's perilously close to penning himself into his own mind.

That's when she realizes what's wrong with his movements. They're too frantic, too jerky. It's like the way she felt when she drank too much coffee: so wired and jittery she can't hold onto a thought long enough to know what's going on.

Before she realizes what she's doing, Penny finds herself walking into the room and grabbing hold of Sheldon's shoulders. He's still talking, still gesturing, but she pulls him down to her level and kisses him soundly.

When she pulls away, he's frozen in place, but his eyes follow her calmly.

"What was that for?"

"You were arguing yourself into a corner, sweetie."

"I hardly think that-- Oh. I see," he ponders, eyes scanning back and forth as if he's replaying something in his mind. "Yes, I suppose I was getting ahead of myself."

Penny giggles and grabs Sheldon by the sleeve.

"Come on, moonpie. It's getting late, I'm starving, and you probably haven't eaten, either."

Sheldon's stomach growls in response and he looks down in surprise, his cheeks coloring slightly.

=====

The ride home is quiet, but not uncomfortably so. Sheldon thinks back on his observations and of the woman beside him. He wonders if maybe there isn't something to the whole emotional response aspect that he'd researched. He's fairly certain the chemical balance in his brain shifts every time he and Penny kiss. And while he's already convinced himself that the side effects have been unexpectedly positive, he ponders on the thought that the encounters have been satisfying in other ways.

=====

Penny feels light and free as they drive home from the university. She's decided to just go with it, where Sheldon is concerned. She won't lie to herself, she's enjoying the closeness when it happens, but she's not going to dwell on it too much. She knows it will just drive her crazy. She doesn't want to over think it, the way Sheldon does, and possibly ruin a good thing. He's not ready for the full ramifications of his actions and, if she's honest with herself, she isn't, either. At least, not with Sheldon.

She called the pizza place before they left the university, so they make it to the front door right as the delivery guy pulls up. They chat amiably up to the fourth floor, Penny hoisting the pizza, and they don't even discuss any options before they go to her place to eat, leaving the guys to finish their Halo night in peace.

=====

Days pass. Their lives move forward. Things are normal again. Well, as normal as anything can be with Sheldon Cooper in the mix.

Penny's gotten better at recognizing when he's running circles around himself and she doesn't mind so much that it's up to her to break him out of it. And if she kisses him sometimes when he doesn't strictly need it, she'll chalk it up to "misreading the signs". She doesn't feel too guilty about those mistakes. Not too much, at least.

Penny doesn't really think too deeply about it until Sheldon comes to her on his own one night.

His familiar triple knock sequence echoes through her apartment and Penny smiles slightly as she gets up from the couch and answers the door.

"Sheldon."

"Good evening, Penny. I trust you are well."

She cocks an eyebrow slightly. Does Sheldon look...nervous?

"Can't complain," she shrugs. "Do you need something?"

She watches his hands make small movements and thinks he stops just short of actually wringing them. He _is_ nervous.

"Do you...have any tea?"

She frowns a little, not expecting that question, but turns away and heads towards the kitchen anyway. "I'll look, come on in."

He steps in and is shutting the door when she returns to him with a box of tea.

"This is all that's left. I guess I'll have to go to the sto--"

Penny idly registers the sound of the tea box hitting the ground, but at that moment, she's a little bit more than distracted. At that moment, the universe implodes.

Because one of Sheldon's hands is curled around her neck and the other is on her hip.

Because Sheldon's lips are on hers.

Because Sheldon..._Sheldon_...is _kissing her_.

On purpose.

And neither of them are stuck.

He breaks away abruptly and when her eyes flutter open, he's regarding her with an expression she's never seen before. It looks sort of like shock, surprise, fear, anxiety, and _want_ all rolled into one. It's that last one she's not sure about. She's fairly certain he's going to bolt for the door and is surprised, yet again, when he just stands there.

"I...I..." he stammers.

It's been a few months since their first kiss, so she's stopped thinking he might be broken, but that doesn't make the sight of Sheldon flustered any less amazing. She can practically see his brain catching up to his actions.

"Fascinating," she murmurs, grinning to herself for adopting his speech.

He stills at her voice and takes a step back.

She takes a step forward but says nothing.

Sheldon swallows loudly, regaining some of his composure. "I...apologize if that was inappropriate."

She shakes her head. "It wasn't; not really. Surprised the hell out of me, but not inappropriate."

She takes another step forward and he automatically steps back, jumping when his back meets the door. He looks back at it, as if wondering where it came from. And then he speaks, his gaze just over the top of her head.

"I find that, while I engage in physical contact as little as possible, our...encounters have left me with a significant amount of data. After analyzing the information, I have concluded that our encounters have a positive effect on my productivity while eliciting an unanticipated, yet enjoyable, emotional response."

Penny tilts her head to one side and processes his words. She's pretty sure she knows what he's saying in Sheldon-ese.

"Sheldon Cooper," she drawls, the corners of her mouth twitching up. "Are you trying to tell me you _like_ kissing me?"

He flattens himself against the door and looks to the side, making a soft, strangled noise. She realizes she's cornered him and decides to show mercy and not push him. This time.

He seems to come to some sort of conclusion and he relaxes slightly, turning to look at her fully. He steps forward and she stands her ground, looking up at him.

They stand toe to toe for what seems like hours. She's hyper aware of how close he is, can feel his body heat just that little bit. Their hands, dangling at their sides, are almost touching and she imagines she can feel an electric charge in the space between them. His eyes are dark, lids slightly hooded, and his mouth is a tiny bit open. Unconsciously, she licks her lips.

Sheldon stirs and slowly brings his hands to her face, lightly skimming the skin of her arms as he goes, making her shiver. He cups her face in his hands and her eyes droop at the sensation. His touch is warm and soft. He's not nervous now; his palms aren't clammy.

His lips press against hers softly, yet firmly, with confidence. The kiss is just that tiny, perfect bit more than chaste and it takes Penny's breath away. It's the purest, most significant kiss she's ever received.

He pulls away and rests his forehead against hers lightly.

"I trust that answers your inquiry?" His breath whispers across her skin and she smiles.

"Oh, yeah."

Sometime in the future, when Penny looks back on this day, she will pinpoint that kiss as the exact moment she falls in love with Sheldon Cooper. He will ponder for a moment and agree, proclaim it their epoch, their T-zero.  


* * *

  
The End 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this was really supposed to be about how Sheldon gets addicted to kissing Penny. I...kind of did that, but I wrote so much in Penny's POV that it actually more turned out like Penny getting addicted to kissing Sheldon. Well, that's not so bad, now is it? :D


End file.
